Duo Looks Like a Lady
by Static Prose
Summary: Songfic to, "Dude Looks Like a Lady," by Aerosmith. I dunno... I was experimenting with an odd type of writing, and it turned out mooky. Eh, oh well.


Duo Looks Like a Lady...A GW cross-dress fic by Marin K.  
  
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You know the drill... don't own them, never will...  
  
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Experimentin' with a different kind of writing style. I know, it sucks, and it's short.  
  
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"Okay, so I'm at this bar, right? You know, that run-down one right on the beach? You know what I mean. It's the one in that really icky place next to the ocean. Yeah, that's the one. The Coral Tavern. Okay, so I'm just kinda relaxing in there at the bar, kicking back a few drinks. I'd already drank a couple of them, so I'm getting a buzz, you know. And then, at around ten o'clock, I'd say, this beauty walks into the bar. She had these really long legs, and this really long brown, wavy hair, and she was thin and beautiful. How beautiful? Well, she had these blue-violet eyes with really long lashes and the tiniest little upturned nose and she was wearing this dark lipstick. You know I love dark lipstick... anyway, she starts walking up to me, wearing the tightest pair of jeans I have ever seen on a woman and a tiny little... what do you call them? Halter tops? I guess that's right. Okay, so she walks over to me, right? Don't laugh. I'm serious. She walked right up to me, of all people, and she leans on the bar next to me, asking if I'd like to buy her a drink. I was like, "Oh, hell yeah!" and I bought her one. What did she drink? Oh. A beer, I think. I don't really remember. But she was so beautiful, and she was flirting with me, too. Don't laugh! I'm serious. It was like love at first sight, you know?"  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
  
  
Cruised into a bar on the shore  
  
Her picture graced the grime on de door  
  
She a long lost love at first bite  
  
Baby maybe you're wrong  
  
But you know it's all right... that's right  
  
"Okay, so a little while into the conversation, she asks me if I wanted to dance with her and I was like, "Oh, hell yeah!" so we went out onto the floor and started dancing to one of those old rock songs that she picked out on the jukebox. So there we are, we're dancing, and I'm getting real into it. She turns around and sticks her butt in my crotch and starts kinda grinding into me. Stop laughing. I'm serious. We were getting real into it. Anyway, she starts making out with me, right there on the dance floor. And now she's getting into it. So, I ask her if she wants to go in a back room, right? And she agrees, so we start walking that way, and she's still got her hands all over me, and I've got mine all over her, and we're still dancing around to the music. Anyway, we get back there, and we start making out again. This is when we start really getting into it. Just as I'm starting to peel off those skin tight jeans, I start hearing some shouting and crashing coming from out front. I try to ignore it, but she can't and she's acting all scared. Tells me to go see what it is. I tell her not to worry, and keep working on the pants, right?"  
  
"And all of a sudden, the door to the room we're in slams open and I look up and see this skinny little punk kid with this really weird hair standing there glaring at me. He couldn't have been more than eighteen, or so. He walked up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders and, I swear to God, he threw me across the room. Stop laughing! I'm serious. This guy was half my size and he just about picked me up! Anyway, after I bang my head on the wall, he steps up to me and says something along the lines of, "Forgive me for interrupting," then he pulls out this big-ass gun and points it at me and tells me to get out. Now, I'm not one to argue with a guy who has a gun, so I stand up and start walking out. I turn around, and Jesus Christ, you'll never guess what I saw... No, not that. I turned around, and the girl and the guy were already going at it. He had already taken her shirt off and... No, that's not the point. He'd taken her shirt off, and then I noticed something that I should have noticed already. The girl was a man! Stop laughing, I'm serious. She had no boobs! It was a guy! And the two guys are back there making out. I, like, just stand there, staring, and then the skinny little guy pulls out his gun and shoots at me, and the bullet goes right by my head and nicks my ear! You don't believe me? Take a look! It's still got a cut on it. Yeah, I told you. That's what you get for not believing me."  
  
Backstage we're having the time  
  
Of our lives until somebody say  
  
Forgive me if I seem outta line  
  
Then she whipped out her gun  
  
And tried to blow me away  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
"Anyway, so I run the hell out of that bar. I don't think I'll ever go back there. The whole thing really freaked me out. I'm serious! I've been much more cautious now, about the women I choose to talk to. If I'm not absolutely sure it's a woman, I won't even look at her. But, hey, I'm sure you are, and that's why I'm talking to you. I like girls with blonde hair. No, I like it short. You're very pretty. What's your name? Quatre? That's a nice name. You what!? You're a what!? You aren't serious! Holy shit!"  
  
Quatre stared after the strange man running out of the bar, pushing Trowa aside as he came in.  
  
So never judge a book by its cover  
  
Or who you gonna love by your lover  
  
Said... love put me wise to her love in disguise  
  
She had the body of a Venus  
  
Lord imagine my surprise  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Dude looks like a lady  
  
Oooh... what a funky lady  
  
Oooh she like it like it like it like that  
  
Oooh he was a lady  
  
Yeow... wak ak ak ak aow  
  
Du du du dude looks like a lady 


End file.
